The following frequency table shows behaviors exhibited by my toddler within the last 72 hours.
|Behavior||Number of Occurrences|
|emptying contents of drawers/cabinets|||||| ||
|emptying dog’s water bowl||||||
|banging head on sliding glass door||||
|trying to twist the toes off a 3-month-old baby|||||
|kicking me while I try to change his diaper|||||||
|pulling my hair||||||
|screaming and flailing because I took a sharp object away from him|||||
|cramming food into his mouth with both fists|||||
|going limp because he doesn’t want to be picked up||||
|trying to ride dog|||||||
|grabbing dog by the beard||||||
|eating dog’s kibble|||||
|eating mulch/stone/other landscaping material|||||
|pointing at laptop and squealing for cartoons|||||||
|pointing at/squealing for Goldfish||||||
|throwing food on floor||||||
|putting face in mud puddle||||
|looking up at me from his crib and sweetly saying “Night-night”||||
Analyzing the Data
According to this data, my child is an asshole in 49 out of 50 instances, which is to say 98% of the time. This could be illustrated with a pie graph if I didn’t have a pounding headache precluding me from making pie graphs.
Interpreting the Data
Parenting is like education.
1. It’s hard work.
2. It’s frustrating.
And most important,
3. It isn’t about data.