The following frequency table shows behaviors exhibited by my toddler within the last 72 hours.
| Behavior | Number of Occurrences |
| emptying contents of drawers/cabinets | |||| | |
| emptying dog’s water bowl | ||| |
| banging head on sliding glass door | | |
| trying to twist the toes off a 3-month-old baby | || |
| kicking me while I try to change his diaper | |||| |
| pulling my hair | ||| |
| screaming and flailing because I took a sharp object away from him | || |
| cramming food into his mouth with both fists | || |
| going limp because he doesn’t want to be picked up | | |
| trying to ride dog | |||| |
| grabbing dog by the beard | ||| |
| chasing cat | | |
| eating dog’s kibble | || |
| eating crayons | | |
| eating mulch/stone/other landscaping material | || |
| pointing at laptop and squealing for cartoons | |||| |
| pointing at/squealing for Goldfish | ||| |
| throwing food on floor | ||| |
| putting face in mud puddle | | |
| looking up at me from his crib and sweetly saying “Night-night” | | |
Analyzing the Data
According to this data, my child is an asshole in 49 out of 50 instances, which is to say 98% of the time. This could be illustrated with a pie graph if I didn’t have a pounding headache precluding me from making pie graphs.
Interpreting the Data
Parenting is like education.
1. It’s hard work.
2. It’s frustrating.
And most important,
3. It isn’t about data.
love it! i wrote a blog post last year soley about Goldfish. lol!
He loooooves Goldfish!
don’t they all? its like toddler crack!! My 5 yr old daughter has recently grown out of/ODed on them and claims she does not like them anymore. Almost 2 yr old can’t get enough 🙂
You’re pretty funny! Have you ever considered writing a book? 😉 (Seriously – hilarious! Watch out Tina Fey!)
Thanks Charlene…and thanks for the share on FB too.
You tickle me. Awesome!
Am reading your blog “from the beginning” like a novel. Loving it!
Am moved to comment because THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO TELL ALL THE PEOPLE, except to switch it so that it says, ‘Education is like parenting.’ I AM SO TIRED OF THE SO-CALLED DATA. (Sorry for shouting so much.) Because as far as I can tell, working to improve the data can improve the data, but at the expense of learning for real. Sad face. Angry shaking fists. Squinched-up frowny face.
Thank you for reading!! I, too, feel that if I hear the word “data” again I’m going to get violent. Totally with you! One day, will policymakers actually start listening to us teachers??