Embarrassing Confessions

Yesterday The Bloggess posted a compilation of tweets in which her followers confessed their embarrassing misconceptions. You must visit it, because it is hilarious.

My contribution is below. What are yours?

1. I used to think that “flying” somewhere meant you strapped wings on your back like Icarus and Daedalus.

2. When I was preschool age, I thought that to make a baby, a woman had to put her nipple inside the hole in a man’s penis. (In my defense, I thought this because my mother had said that the woman’s parts fit with the man’s parts. However, she didn’t specify which parts.)

3. I also thought that sex had something to do with yard maintenance, because my mother said that the man “fertilized” the woman’s egg.

This will help grow plants. It will do absolutely nothing for making babies.
This will help grow plants. It will do absolutely nothing for making babies.

4. Until I was in college, I thought that the lyrics to “Jet Airliner” were “big old Carolina.” (I always wondered which one—North or South?)

5. I was also in college when someone disabused me of the notion that Eeyore is an elephant. (He’s fat and grey. Apparently, the pinned-on tail thing went right over my head—as did the fact that he has no trunk.)

This donkey needs to go on a diet, because he is the fattest-ass donkey I've ever seen.
This donkey needs to go on a diet, because he is the fattest-ass donkey I’ve ever seen.

Photo credits: Amazon.com, Disney.com

8 thoughts on “Embarrassing Confessions

    1. Ha! This guy I knew thought that the woman had to eat her husband’s testicles. He said he thought this because every couple in his neighborhood had 2 kids. Makes sense!

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