Parenting a 3-Year-Old Encapsulated in 100 Words

Conversation on the way to school

Jack: I want German.

Me: What? Did you say “German”?

Jack: German.

Me: Well, Mommy doesn’t know any German. I know a little French and a little Italian, but not German.

Jack: [starting to get upset] But I WANT it!!

Me: Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf.

Jack: No!

Me: Schutzstaffel.

Jack: Mama, no!

Me: Sturm und drang. Schadenfreude.

Jack: Noooooooo!


Jack: Nooo! I want GERMAN!



Me: Jack, do you know what German is?

Jack: No.

Me: Do you think it’s food?

Jack: Yeah.

Me: What is it? It is candy?

Jack: No.

Me: Is it cake?

Jack: No! It’s spicy!

Me: Spicy?? What color is it?

Jack: It’s white. And yellow.

Me: Well, I have no idea what you’re talking about. If I can figure out what you’re talking about, I’ll get some for you.

[another pause]

Jack: I want German.



4 thoughts on “Parenting a 3-Year-Old Encapsulated in 100 Words

  1. I may repeat this in a future post of my own at some point: Our toddler boys called sticks pointed at each other “lugs”. Why? One night, the Aha moment: A Jack and the Beanstalk cartoon. A boy, who happens to be holding a slingshot, says to his father “Don’t worry, Father–I’ll have a look.”

    I have a lug. Obvious, really.

    1. Just so everyone knows, we finally figured out about 8 hours later that the white, spicy food he was asking for was GINGER.

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