Telltale Signs It’s the End of the School Year




  1. Appearing well-rested and professional has been cast aside for the more rudimentary goal of “showing up.”
  2. You and your colleagues sneak out to Dunkin’ Donuts during planning and seriously consider the ramifications of not coming back.
  3. You scour the internet for full-length, PG-rated movies about subject-verb agreement, even though you know full well that none exist.
  4. You can be heard making snarky comments such as, “Oh. I suppose now because Jimmy went to the bathroom, EVERYONE has to go to the bathroom.”
  5. You roll your eyes at least once per class.
  6. You put your head in your hands at least once a day.
  7. You find yourself ending sentences with, “Or not. You people never listen to me anyway.”
  8. You caught yourself just in time before throwing a stapler at the kid who said, “Since its is possessive, shouldn’t it have an apostrophe?”
  9. You caught yourself just in time before saying, “Up your ass” in response to the kid who asked where to put the papers, after you just said six times where to put the papers.
  10. When your cat begins to make that retching noise, you quickly offer him or her the nearest stack of student papers to vomit on.

7 thoughts on “Telltale Signs It’s the End of the School Year

  1. This is the month I was glad I’d taught them yoga and weaving and sewing and crocheting before testing. Kept those suckers CALM. Oh: And threw the After-Test Blowout Bash!! (An All-Day In-Classroom Party–giant sombreros, Hawaiian leis, stupid puppets, limbo, you name it).

    I too, loved the cat vomit, though.

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