Abby Byrd mothers, frets, writes, teaches, and corrects other people’s grammar in an undisclosed location on the East coast of the United States of America. Her work has appeared on The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, BLUNTMoms, Mamalode, In The Powder Room, The Good Men Project, Sammiches and Psych Meds/MockMom, The Reject Pile, The Big Jewel, the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop, and in two anthologies, Scary Mommy’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays and Martinis and Motherhood: Tales of Woe, Wonder, & WTF?! She is seeking an agent for a memoir about her decade-long search for a partner and why correct use of the semicolon may not be the most important quality in a mate. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
Abby also does freelance editing. Contact her at email@example.com. Don’t bother sending admonitions or prayers. She has a robot monkey assistant that filters that shit out.
Disclaimer: You may be offended by the content of this blog if any of the following descriptors apply to you.
- You have no sense of humor.
- You don’t understand satire.
- You’re offended by foul language, penis-shaped candles, or pumpkin-flavored personal lubricant.
- You’re Christian. If you’re just a regular Christian it’s probably fine, but if you’re one of the Christians who thinks Ronald Reagan is the second coming of Christ, you won’t feel at home here.
- You’re a clown. Like, a real clown.
- You’re my hipsterdouche ex-boyfriend from 2005.
- You have a truck, and it has nuts.
- You collect teddy bears.
- Your self-worth is derived from whatever multi-level marketing scheme you participate in.
- You put apostrophes in words that are plural but not possessive. God, you have no idea how much I hate you.
Catch Abby on the Inside Voice podcast:
On Huffington Post:
On Scary Mommy:
On In the Powder Room:
On The Good Men Project:
On the humor site The Reject Pile:
On the humor site The Big Jewel:
On the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop:
- The Progressive Family’s Guide to Chick-Fil-A
- Protesting Christians Say Kotex Holiday Tampons “Too Secular”
- Breaking: Paula Deen Still Racist as F*ck
- We Just Want to Take Your Kid in this Shed and Teach Him About Jesus (by Some Clowns)
- 70% of Moms of Boys are Big Fat Poopy Butts
- Teen Trends: The Kim Kardashian Butt Challenge
- Pumpkin Spice Personal Lubricant to Debut This Fall
- Pope Suffering From Rare and Dangerous Disease Called Compassion
- Mom, Thank You For Solving the Mystery of My Paternity on National Television
- God Admits Michelle Duggar DNA Blunder
- 5 Worst Games for Anxious Children
- Teen Trends: Putting a Whole Goddamn Orange In Your Mouth
- Teen Trends: The Minstrel Orgy
- You and I Both Know You’re Not Gonna Take a Nap, So Let’s Cut the Shit
- Toddler Who Refuses To Sit on Aging Relative’s Lap Terrified of What He Might Become
- Hipster Mom Admits to Liking Olive Garden, Ostracized By Community
- How To Get More Energy By Siphoning the Life Force From Carly at the Gym
- Kid on Side of Potty Chair Box Way Too Excited To Be Taking a Shit
- Atheist Family Hiding Behind Facade of Normalcy
- Bitch Who Sells Candles Thinks She’s a Fucking Businesswoman
As a guest poster on these blogs:
Abandoning Pretense (The Internet on Sex: Stop Telling Us What Normal Is)
Welcome to the Bundle (Zoloft for Breakfast)