On the way to work
Me, to J: Do you want some strawberry applesauce?
J: I want strawberries.
Me: Well, we don’t have strawberries.
J: I want strawberries.
Me: We don’t have strawberries. I don’t have them. They don’t just appear. Somebody has to go buy them.
J: I want that strawberry.
Me: You can’t have that one. It’s dirty. That’s the one you dropped yesterday. Here. Eat this applesauce.
J: Strawberry!
Me: AND DON’T YOU DARE THROW THAT APPLESAUCE!
*pause*
J: Oh, fuck.
Me: You mean…fudge?
J: Fuck.
Me: Don’t say that.
J: Hee hee. Fuck.
Me: *slams head on steering wheel while driving*
