20 Things That Enrage Me When I’m Undermedicated

  1. Alarm on my phone .25 decibels too loud.
  2. Husband said “Good morning.”
  3. Dog breathing too loudly.
  4. Dog smells slightly like dog.
  5. Dog’s kneebone is too bony.
  6. Dog exists.
  7. Cats demanding food again.
  8. Small piece of trash I tried to balance on top of too-full trash can fell down.
  9. Human mortality.
  10. Temperature of shower water .5 degrees too cold.
  11. Turned the spigot too far the other direction and now water is .5 degrees too hot. MOTHER FUCKER.
  12. Long, stiff hair on chin taking longer than expected to remove.
  13. Radio waves probably mutating cells = cancer.
  14. Sugar jar sitting right in the middle of the fucking counter instead of aligned with backsplash. WHY DOES HE ALWAYS DO THAT?
  15. Length and color of boss’s talons.
  16. The way my boss ended her email with the word “Thanks.” “Thanks”? What’s that supposed to mean?
  17. Did you ever notice how stupid everyone is?
  18. Is it Myanmar, or Burma? Make up your damn mind.
  19. The word “should.” I don’t like it, with its silent letter and brazen single syllable, nor do I trust it.
  20. List posts.

 

Why is this dog still here. (morguefile.com)
Why is this dog still here. (morguefile.com)